A Mother's Choice
by Dr Gonzo
Summary: Joyce Summers vs. The Devil -- place your bets


WALKING TOURS  ****

Title: Choices 

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Author Brian Ramsay

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Summery: Joyce Summers gets a visitor, some bad news and a deal 

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Spoilers: Anything Up to Season 5 is Game

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Disclaimer: I own none of the characters that appear here. They all belong to individuals much more talented then I that includes Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, Todd McFarlene and Image Comics and The PTB etc.

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Dedications: Many thank to Megs who beta-tested this for me. Anything that is good likely is one of her suggestions. A big kiss to POE whose album Hunted was playing though out much of the writing, resulting in what you see before you. 

Comments are invited. Compliments are appreciated. Criticism will be listen to. 

Dawn reached toward the cold flesh of the thing that was and yet was not her mother. 

Did Keys have mothers? She felt like she had one and her heart was breaking as if she had lost one. She touched the cold flesh and felt the lack of life within. 

It had been unreal until that moment and real mother or not she felt the emotion of loss overwhelm her again. Weeping she ran from the morgue followed closely by Buffy. 

The body was alone again. 

Joyce Summers, standing in the corner of the room, felt her heart break in sympathy for the child that was and yet, was not her own. 

"Cute kid, she even looks like your daughter, she even has Hank's eyes" the voice was cold strangely enough she felt a chill down her spine…strange since her spine was sitting on a table in front of her. 

She turned from looking at the dead form front of her to look at the man standing behind her 

" Who are you?" she asked, "do I know you?"

"Of course you know me Joyce just look a little harder …look at my eyes that always helps a little.

Joyce looked at the eyes. The rest of him seemed to be all shadow. As she looked, the form shaped itself around the eyes like a Cheshire Cat. He even had a smile to match. 

"There you go " the man said smiling I said you would get it if you tried." 

"You're The Devil," she said simply

"In the flesh" 

" Then this is hell" 

"No Joyce, this is Sunnydale …Hell is the Van Nuys Express at 4 o'clock on a hot day, talk about wailing and gnashing of teeth." 

He paused as though waiting for a universal rim-shot. In many ways, he was unremarkable in appearance. He wore a black jeans and T-shirt combo. On the shirt was a Day-Glo print of Jim Morrison looking haunted. Over this, he wore a three-quarter-length jacket. It was so black it seemed to shine with a ghostly light. Its only adornment was a Born to Burn button on the lapel. His eyes were the only things that marked him. They were featureless, devoid of both pupil and iris. They had a vague gold color to them 

"Are you here to take me to hell?" 

No, Joyce" Satan said kindly "I'm here to offer you an out, a last chance, a cosmic get out of jail free card. All I want in return is your help." 

"I thought that that was just…"

"A story your grandmother told you to scare you? - No Joyce…Hell is very real" Said the Devil patiently 

Joyce turned and looked at the body that had sheltered her soul for so long

"Come with me" the devil, said quietly "This will still be here and it's not like you need it anymore anyway" 

Joyce and the devil headed toward the doors of the morgue when Joyce stopped 

"How do I leave here, I'm not dressed" she looked at her naked form 

"What is the problem you humans have with the naked body its actually quite nice to look at…yours more then most" 

"I can't walk around naked." Joyce said modestly 

"Joyce, your dead …no one can see your baby fat but me" 

The man smiled indulgently and then turned and headed to the door Joyce followed about to make a comment but he slipped through the door ahead of her and she had to follow. The door closed behind her and she was in the Bronze. 

She had only come here a few times but she knew the place. She looked down at herself and saw clothes where before there had been nakedness. She looked around the bar and saw the devil playing pool at the back of the room she walked over amazed that no one seemed to take much notice of her. 

"Joyce, knowing you, Your going to have questions…Two ball easy corner…. So, ask what you want? " 

"Fine " she said, "Why am I going to Hell? 

The devil smiled " Same reason as most people traditionally, you've lived a sinful life…nine ball -side "

"I didn't live a sinful life…I mean I've never hurt anyone…that I know of."

"No not in the way that you're thinking - but, you have lived a selfish life. …Three Ball – corner… Now do not get me wrong, self-interest is not, in and of itself, a sin. Self-involvement is not evil. …Five Ball in the corner pocket and the Four Ball in the side. In fact self interest is instinctual and often necessary to survival …but you where self involved at the expense of your loved ones and that **is** bad. You show no remorse for that flaw, that too is bad, and you had no intent to change had you been aware. That would be the final nail in the coffin."

Joyce looked uncertainly at the man in front of her. How can you say that? I've given to charities I tried to help Faith when she was her…good god I even opened my home to some magical key posing as my daughter"

The devil smiled again "All very noble acts but all of them born of self interest…ten ball off the side and the eight ball in the corner." 

As the last two balls disappeared from the table, The devil dropped the cue stick he had been playing with He gestured to Joyce

"Let me show you something" he pointed over to the corner of the room where she saw herself talking to Hank…arguing with him actually 

"I remember this, Hank had just told me he had been cheating on me" 

"Yes, that can be a heartbreaker for any woman. Joyce, why where you really upset with Hank? Where you angry with the infidelity or with who he cheated on you with "

"I was devastated at what he did'

"No, you were annoyed at what he did. He had been cheating on you for a while and you knew that…you were mad because he cheated on you with Debra Mason the head of the community association"

"Well she was so…so… well I mean it's not like there's much that bitch didn't do "

"Imagine how the other girls talked about you behind your back, that snickering and pointing it was humiliating" 

"Yes" Said Joyce quickly 

"I mean cheating on you with the babysitter or that office temp, or Dawns Grade 2 Teacher that was ok but Debra Mason…"

Joyce looked at herself and thought back at to that twisted time. Yes, She remembered feeling betrayed by the infidelity of her husband but there had been something else. She had been working to oust Mason from the Community Association and the revelation had been a tremendous blow to her campaign to dump the high handed and narcissistic bitch. 

"Still, I got myself and the kids through the divorce"

"Yes, Impressive and began to pressure Buffy to be the perfect teen daughter how disappointing when she let you down as well by being called to service as a slayer."

"Now that is not fair goddanmit, what mother is prepared to deal with the news their daughter is destined to be some kind of monster killer" 

"A reasonable argument, was that why you blamed Buffy for the Sunnydale move? Never let her forget that she was the reason you were in this town?" 

"I thought she was a troubled teen, I thought she needed tough love" 

"Any love would have been better then the lingering accusatory air you allowed to settle over your home its her fault you were in Sunnydale and you wanted her to pay."

"It wasn't like that…"

"Really… Joyce, Are you going to lie to me? I am the Father of Lies"

"Her life was a danger to her and to everyone around her, I wanted her to stop. Any parent would want their child to stop endangering themselves" 

"Which brings us to Faith…" The Devil paused as though checking invisible notes (for all she knew maybe he was.) "You dangled the hope of a normal life in front of Faith. Then when she did not perform for you, you snatched it away. 

She tried to kill my Daughter" 

"Now Joyce, This is about your bad choices." The Devil said soothingly as though Joyce was a bad tempered child. 

"She hated Buffy and she tried to destroy everyone around her" Joyce was desperate she had to make this person understand 

"Actually Faith liked one aspect of Buffy's life. The mother who loved her." The Devil pointed over to another darkened corner and Joyce saw herself confronting Faith. The figures were talking soundlessly but Joyce remembered every word that passed between them. Nevertheless, the Devil would have his due in this matter.

"Do I need to turn up the volume on this discussion or do you remember enough of things as they were."

"Faith tried to convince me that she and I were sisters of some kind. That somehow Buffy had wronged both of us, left us behind in her great hero-quest" 

"Hmmm…Faith must have believed that you blamed Buffy for something…now what could have given her that idea?"

Joyce backed away from the Devil shaking her head in frustration. 

"So that is how it works I am responsible for everything that went wrong in the lives of my daughters … shit…danmit daughter"

"No…actually, Faith is responsible for her choices and Buffy is responsible for hers. I am holding you responsible for the choices that you made. It just looks bad because your choices effected Buffy's which in turn effected Faith's"

There is no way you can prove that"

A tone of menace began to creep into the devil's voice. Moreover, his eyes, previously bright and shining, turned dark like black pearls. 

"What do you think this is Joyce, Judge freaking Judy? Do I look like F. Lee Bailey to you?" He held out his left hand. A gleaming ball of light was sitting in the center of his palm. " This is your daughters soul." He held out his other hand and there a darkly glowing ball sat "This is Faith's soul dark and heavy with the guilt of her deeds." 

The fallen angel placed his palms together and the two balls mixed and coalesced into a single entity. The glow from the ball shifted from light and dark. "This is the soul of Buffy's ex squeeze-toy Angel…you'll notice that it changes because Angel himself fights against his instincts both human and vampire." 

He closed his hand and then opened it again so that now it contained a ball that seethed a dark gray colour. "Guess whose soul this is? …You'll notice that unlike your daughter's, your soul is much darker but, it's not too late for you Joyce there is an opportunity to save your worthless little soul. How have you chosen to repay the indulgence I show by giving you that chance? Your busting my balls about how fair the universe is instead of getting down on your knees and kissing my feet in gratitude." 

Joyce backed away in fear from the figure, as darkness seemed to spread outwards from him in a creeping shadow. The lines of darkness reached out for her like fingers eager to claim her soul then he stopped, and closed his eyes. When they opened, again they had turned an aqua marine colour, still with no pupil or iris, but at least a nicer shade then before. 

"I'm sorry Joyce" he devil said apologetically "I forget that this dying thing is new for you, hell even Buffy who has died twice doesn't have all the answers- it's wrong to think that you'll roll with all the punches." 

"It's ok." She said slowly waiting for him to calm down even more.

"Would you like a drink? – Joyce I want a drink" 

"Sure a drink would be great I guess"

"Good because I know just the place and it is not too far" with that he turned toward a door and opened it.

The space beyond looked like a lounge. Gleaming surfaces reflected the subdued lighting in the empty bar. 

The angel walked over to the bar and began to mix drinks, pouring out martinis into two large glasses. 

"To your health" he saluted her and then downed the contents of his glass in one swallow. Joyce took her time marveling at the fact she could taste the smooth bitterness in her ethereal state. 

"So have I convinced you of the need to except my proposal?" the Devil asked as he mixed another drink. 

It all seems so hard to handle. I cannot believe I was a bad parent. I mean I tried to protect my girls. Guide them, it just seems like there was so much I didn't think about." 

"Everybody thinks they are doing good Joyce but, I can give to you that power to make a real difference. Isn't that what everyone wants? " 

"Well actually some of us want a quiet late night drink in our favorite bar."

The pair turned at the sound of the new voice among them. Joyce had to say that as demons went the one in front of her looked a lot like what she'd pictured the devil as. Actually more so, then the person who had been traveling with her all night. The demon before her was dressed in a velvet housecoat with silk pajamas peeking out from under them. His mottled flesh and horns made his slicked back pompadour look even more incongruous. Clutched in one hand was a glass and he had obviously been on his way to the bar when he had come upon the pair.

I'm sorry if we woke you" Joyce said kindly 

"Relax sweetness, I'm used to having late night visitors though I am normally more happy to see them"

"I just want to finish my drink then we can be out of your way"

"Joyce enjoy your drink it's the least someone called The Host can offer someone as famous as you"

"Me, famous?

"Well you're not Harry Potter famous or anything like your daughters but…"

I'm sorry Mr. Host but I have one daughter no matter what you may have heard"

"Joyce when the Key became human it became your daughter and if she is anything like Buffy she is tremendous. " 

." According to the Devil I'm a bad parent"

"I just bet you'd know" The Host sneered "Joyce let me tell you about your traveling companion back in the day this guy was the Frank Sinatra of the underworld, and I mean that in the supernatural sense. I mean it was Gabriel, Michael and Him hell-ing around the cosmos looking for the next big thrill. So when the Powers That Be asked them to curtail their rat pack ways? Lucy here starts a war and which he loses." The host continued "So now the powers offer him a deal all he has to do is accept their authority over him and he and everybody who fought wit him goes free. Guess what he decides to do. He utters those now famous words. "Better to reign in hell then serve in heaven" So after he tells them to take this job and shove it he and all of his followers get packed off to the nether-realms." 

Joyce looked at the Fallen Angel who was doing a slow burn. However, she could not help asking. "That must annoyed all his followers how did he mange to maintain control." 

"Well" the Host continued "That was thing, Lucy is the first and biggest S&M freak he maintains control by torturing his minions. Thy step out of line and he steps on them literally."

"That is kind of an exaggeration" The Devil said quietly Joyce looked closely at the angel and saw that the colour of his eyes had dropped back to the obsidian darkness that had so frightened her before. 

The room went quiet and Joyce looked at the two men as they regarded each other. Then the Host suddenly hunched over and dropped to the floor. The glass, still clenched in his hand, fell to the floor and rolled away from his suddenly palsied grip and he began to scream. Joyce looked over at the Fallen Angel and saw him looking at The Host intently. "Your nothing but a bully aren't you" the Host grunted as the pain coursed through him. "Sure, you make it sound good especially with that little rap you pass off on the little people like Joyce but, in the end you just like seeing the pain others cause themselves by being as weak as you"

"Stop it" Joyce, cried out. The Angel just turned his gaze upon her and sighed. Joyce walked up to him and did something that came from a place she had not touched in years. She slapped him across the face – hard. 

"Joyce you're trotting in a very dangerous place" The devil said warning "Do you think I wouldn't do this to you in a second if I didn't want to"

"This I between you and me I'm tired this bullshit. Either pitch me your deal or take me to hell but leave him alone"

"This worm has to learn a lesson in respect…everybody needs respect, Hey worm" He turned his attention to The Host "You think you know so much about me… well then …Who am I? Scream my name" He bent down next to the groveling demon and listened as he hissed out painfully. 

"You're The Morningstar…Second Of The Three "

"What else am I?" The Devil screamed 

"First among the Fallen…"

"That's right" Lucifer Screamed. "You ever piss me off again …And I will bring such sorrow to your finite life span and your soul" 

"Are you done" Joyce said coldly "or do you need to pound you chest and roar a little more." 

The devil released the Host and he slumped to the ground. Joyce ran over to the demon that seemed a lot less monstrous now up close and helped him into a vertical position. The Devil muttered something about needing another drink and marched toward the bar without a backward glance. 

"That was brave of you Joyce – listen. Your kids, they will be fine but you have to start worrying about yourself. Your going to have to make some hard choices but remember, no one can take away your right to choose your destiny except you" 

The devil strolled back to the two of them baring two drinks one of which he handed to The Host

"A Sea-Breeze – with fresh juice, your worship" he supplied sweetly as though nothing had occurred. .

"If you're ready Joyce I'd like to continue our discussion. " He said as he belted back the other with a speed that amazed Joyce

This Time there was no need for a door. One moment they were standing in the bar. The next they were standing in an alleyway. Joyce recognized the sights and stenches of New York. . 

"Welcome to New York, New York, The City so nice they named it twice." The Devil sighed as he gazed at the dilapidated inner city setting before them. "You know, I thought about putting the Hellmouth here" The Angel flashed a beatific smile at Joyce "After all, would anyone notice it in The Bronx or Alphabet City." 

" What stopped you" Joyce asked genuinely curious. 

"The weather sucks, the sense of despair and hopelessness is so much better in California." 

"I thought about moving here after things went bad at Buffy's first school" Joyce looked around at the squalor that surrounded her with an aura she could feel. "Why are we in this hellhole …no offence meant" 

"None taken …We are here in Rat City to see what your future could be," Lucifer said cheerfully 

"How do I have a future I'm dead. "

"Trust me Joyce…Death isn't the barrier to career change it used to be. Look at Angelus and Spike they did their best work after they died." 

"What…you want me to become a vampire?" Joyce asked incredulously 

"Joyce … Joyce, Why make you into a vampire when I can make you into something so much more...powerful 

"What are you talking about? "

"Watch"

Joyce looked further up the alleyway and saw two men chasing a third. At first Joyce moved to help the elderly looking man but the devil's hand on her shoulder held her in place. This was not her moment. The two kids shoved the old man to the ground and began to harass him. They were obviously working themselves into a rage. 

"What are they doing to him? … Who are they? 

"A couple of sick punks out for what sick punks think is a good time." 

"Are we here to watch an old man die? " 

"No, We're are here to watch one man make a difference." 

Joyce watched as the two kids prepared to stab the poor old man when a shadow fell over them. Joyce looked for the source of the shadow and could not find it as though the shadows themselves had come to life and taken form. Chains sprang from the darkness wrapping themselves around the two kids lifting them from the ground. 

"What are you scum doing here?" A voice hissed at them as a figure that seemed to swim in Crimson and Shadow stepped from the darkness and advanced on the kids now hanging three feet off the ground. 

"Al" the old man climbed from the filth in which he fell and stood between the advancing creature and the children who had, until moments ago, been trying to kill him. "Al, please? They're just kids, they don't know better." 

"What do they need to know? … They already think they have power over life and death." The Crimson vision hissed as the chains holding the duo hauled them higher. One of the kids raised the knife in his hand higher. A length of chain shot out of the darkness and looped around the offending hand. The figure stepped forward and held out a red clad hand. 

"Well …little man… do you think your little toy makes you God… that you get to decide whose life is worth living? Your little toy means less then nothing to me." The chain holding the boys' hand brought it and the knife it held lower and lower and then paused. The man…if man was a name for this thing of nightmare and madness, allowed the knife to plunge into his hand causing green blood to fountain forth and drip to the ground. The already panicky Kid went into total fight or flight mode. He struggled against the chains that held him and his friend. The demonic figure stepped back and pulled the knife from his hand. 

The old man tried again to distract the man from the course of vengeance he had set himself on. 

"Al – please, I don't want the weight of this on my mind. Just make them apologize then let them go …please." The old man sounded totally afraid for these young men. Joyce wondered what this man had seen that he was more afraid for these kids then for his own welfare. 

The man called Al tuned luminescent green eyes upon the old man, The chains tightened and moved around the two boys. Joyce saw that their bodies were being forced into mid-air genuflect 

"If you crawl on your bellies and beg for this mans forgiveness I may…allow you to live long enough to regret stepping into these alleys." The two boys moaned and whimpered Joyce was suddenly glad of her ethereal state when she saw a small puddle forming beneath the one to whom AL had spoken. 

The two were suddenly free the chains holding them suddenly released and hurled them to the far side of the alley. The boys landed in the filth and scum they had been deriding moments before. As the two picked themselves off the ground, Al moved forward his hand clenched into a fist, green fire swirling around it 

"Never come back here…If I smell your stench, or sense your vile presence, I will track you both an send you to Hell and I promise there are things beyond the grave far more frightening then me"

Joyce watched as the two teenagers scrambled backwards out of the alley. Then She watched as the old man turned and stepped hesitantly forward. "Thanks Al…I know that took a lot but-…"

Al looked around and hushed the old man. The he seemed to sniff the air and then his eyes tuned towards the place where Joyce and The Devil were standing. He seemed to be looking for them as though he could sense them even if he could not see them. 

"Careb go find Cog – I think we have guests." Al said gazing deeper into the alleyway as though trying to pierce the darkness with sheer will of mind. Joyce moved backwards and the devil looked at her. 

"No one can see you Joyce …some like AL here can sense but no one can see if I don't them to"

"All the same, could we leave?"

It was as easy as thought. They were in one place and then they were in another. A place between places whose only concession was a single door. 

"Tour's over Joyce, time to decide" said The Devil 

Then Joyce felt rather then saw a thousand eyes upon her as The Devil circled her in a place that had obligingly placed her in a centre spotlight. She saw figures in the corners of the room that stared and watched. 

"Take my hand Joyce, take my hand and you will have the power to make a difference in the world."

Joyce turned from the angel to find him in front of her again this time much closer. 

"What is it going to be Joyce, allegiance to these lofty beings…" Here he gestured to the figures at5 the fringes of her perception "…who will grind your daughters into paste for their own amusement"

Joyce backed away from the Devil and so did not see the couch that was sitting behind her. She landed on her backside and there was the Devil sitting at her side wearing a parody of the outfit worn by the Host earlier. 

"On the other hand, has the social climbing queen of the PTA social finally admitted that her place in the universe was as meat for the beast?" She scrambled out of the couch and turned to find couch and Devil gone. There was nothing but voices and light demanding that she choose. The voices grew louder and in the midst of them, she heard one voice repeatedly. She concentrated on that voice and recognized it. It was the Host. 

At that moment, reality shattered into a thousand splinters and each splinter held a destiny that could be her own. She saw the creature that devil wanted her to be. She saw it destroying creatures' while fighting at her daughter's side. She saw herself at the head of an advancing army making war on the Powers That Be and over the entire Field of battle, The Devils' mocking laughter. She saw other things. The events set in motion by her choices good and bad. She saw Faith weeping over the body of Angel as Buffy stood over them both abut to deliver a deathblow. In another shard she saw Dawn and Xander holding their baby girl who gurgled happily ignoring the worried looks of her parents as they looked at her gold eyes. It went on and on seemingly without end. In one shard, she saw Xander abusing Anya, in other she saw them sheltering a young girl who Joyce could tell had become The Chosen One. She saw Spike and Dawn, Xander and Faith, Xander and Buffy, Anya and Buffy. She saw the world destroyed and remade a thousand times for her view alone and in the chaos she saw the destiny that suited and she reached out and grasped it and held it to her heart. 

Joyce opened her eyes gazing around at the silence and the one door that now hung open. 

"What happened…?" she asked 

"You made your choice Joyce, your destiny awaits you right through that door." The Devil spoke causally. 

Joyce walked toward the open door. There was no fear in her steps. She knew what awaited her on the other side. 

She reached the door when a voice behind her made her turn. She looked at the being called Lucifer Morningstar

"You realize, of course, that I can still get Buffy, and Dawn wont' last ten seconds without her."

"They will be fine," Joyce said stating something she believed absolutely in her own heart. "They had a good mother who taught them everything she knew and raised them the best that she could"

"What makes you so sure?" The Devil asked her incredulously. 

"It's something I've chosen to accept" she smiled turned and stepped through the door that closed behind her. 

The End 


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